Now we're back and we're in full rentrée.
From the holidays we brought the expectation that, sooner or later, everything would gradually return to normal. We went back to business, schools and a “new normal”. But some already had to return home and the threat hangs over us of falling asleep and having the same nightmare again. We feel some frustration at not being able to get back to the reality we had before.
Do you remember how you felt the moment you were told or when you realized on your own, during childhood, that Santa Claus did not exist at all?
Or if you don't remember the effect it had on you, can you understand the effect it had or will have on your children? It may even happen that I never told them that this character is real, but the social network and the context in which they live daily leads them, inevitably, to create that expectation at some point.
And when that expectation is (or was) defrauded, if we consider Santa Claus to be a positive idea, different feelings settle inside us, with greater or lesser intensity: frustration, sadness, denial or avoidance of reality, disappointment, etc. But that Santa Claus doesn't really exist and that is the reality.
However, on this topic, everything went fine. You managed to accept the idea that, after all, gifts were bought by your family and that there were no flying reindeers. You've been through this before.
The mental process that occurs in each person is distinct and exclusive, like a fingerprint and it is the sum of these processes that determines the success or failure of the organizations' transformation. Basically, companies can only truly transform themselves when each of their employees embraces a new reality.
And each of us must have tools to deal with the feelings that arise when we know that Santa Claus does not exist, or when we realize that we are going to have to live with this pandemic for many months or even years.
Acceptability: resisting the new reality, waiting too long to change, entering into denial or simply fantasizing can only mean having difficulty accepting the new paradigm, this can lead to more complex problems, such as anxiety or depression. There is no miraculous formula and in fact, it works a bit like the grieving process, different from person to person and with a different duration.
In view of the need to adopt a new context as the “new normal”, you should try to project yourself in that context: “What will it be like, if I always start working at home?”, “How will it be, if we stop having face-to-face team meetings so regularly?” - this projection will allow you to start building hypotheses that can be rationalized and transformed into actions.
Then it is important to take small steps in relation to the hypotheses you have considered, implementing them and validating their feasibility: if you go well it is motivating to take a few more steps, if you go wrong the consequence should not have a big impact to allow you not to step back and try others hypotheses.
This will allow you to build new routines and regain confidence about the new paradigm.
Resilience: in many moments of the change process new challenges will arise, namely, nostalgia, tiredness or even an inability to deal with some aspects of the new situation and this can lead to the setback of the change process. If so, it is not a good intention. How many of us haven't started on that diet, which then slows down and finally stops, bringing you even more weight than it had at the start?
Resilience is a skill that must be developed throughout life and instilled at an early age in the youngest, revealing our ability to persist and act with determination, even when there are setbacks in the plans we have designed for our projects. Here are some suggestions for developing this skill:
The first is a mental exercise in which you must try to identify the exact moment when your conviction is shaken, record it in your notes so that that moment materializes and takes on "shape", allowing you to deal with it. In doing this you are becoming aware of the times when resilience must be used.
Then try to identify a pattern in your notes or, in some way, find a possible explanation for that feeling, , as this may help to resolve its origin (for example: realizing that your moments of hesitation are always related to "waking up early" and you can modify your schedule).
Finally, when that "moment" or similar appears and you become aware of it, risk the discomfort (for example: in the face of the temptation to turn off the alarm, this time you realized that this "moment" is present and gather energy to get up). It will require willpower and you will feel like going to the gym for the first time to work on that “specific muscle”.